The Love Of Her Life
Although it sounds a little strange, I owe my life to air conditioning, or the lack thereof! Even though the Father of Cool, http://inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aa081797.htm, invented the air conditioner in 1902, even in the late 1940’s it remained cost prohibitive in most homes, businesses, and churches. In fact I remember few homes being air conditioned even in the 1960’s. Needless to say the little church in which Christine and her family worshiped was not equipped with “A.C.” Big ceiling fans, funeral home hand fans, and big windows open without screens made the congregation as comfortable as possible.
It was a hot summer Sunday morning and, as usual, Christine’s family prepared to attend church. Christine knew the walk would be through several cow pastures and up or under a couple of barbed wire fences. Nevertheless the pretty young lady made sure every hair on her head was in place, her stocking seams running up the back of her legs were straight, and her lips were lined perfectly with her bright red lipstick. Christine was a natural beauty but today was special as she knew a young man was going to be at church to meet her. Little did she know, however, that on that day her destiny in life was about to be realized.
It was foot washing, http://www.tentmaker.org/newinspiration/spiritual_foot_washing.htm , Sunday at Rocky Dale Primitive Baptist Church. Although I have worshiped at Rocky Dale several times in my life, I do not recall witnessing a foot washing, so I am not sure of the logistics involved. I do know that Christine had the responsibility of throwing the foot washing water from the foot washing bowl and out one of the open church windows. It was somewhere between the water leaving the bowl and hitting the ground that Christine and Charles, my future parents, laid eyes on each other for the first time. According to Christine, she did not know who he was but she thought he should not have been so stupid as to stand under the windows and risk getting wet. According to Charles he was standing under a shade a tree and saw Christine with the water bowl from afar. Whatever the case, it was love at first sight for him. It took Christine some time to take to the "little feller". She had just broken up with another boy and her heart was still broken. But after some romancing by Charles, she came around and they have been together since. On December 24, 2009, they will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.
At this point in my Mom’s life as a victim of Alzheimer’s, I thought it important to understand the depth of my parents' love. They weren’t just married; they have truly been as one all these years. Inherent with being a minister is the fact that Daddy could take his family with him most any time he was working. I will admit being with Daddy while he worked had its ups and downs for me, especially as a teenager. That was not true for Mom. She enjoyed every minute of being a preacher’s wife. That was her identity and she assumed it proudly.
After Daddy answered the call to the ministry, he realized he needed to further his education. He quit driving a truck for Canada Dry and enrolled in Carson-Newman College. He began to pastor his first church but the pay didn't "make ends meet" for a family of four with one in college. So Mom spent many years sewing elastic bands on underwear to send Daddy through college where he earned a bachelor’s degree and went on to earn a Master's of Theology and Doctor of Ministry degrees. She was good at her job, too, as she more often than not met the production quota. Mom never complained but was so happy to assume her role as the preacher’s wife, homemaker, and mother when we moved to another church where Daddy’s salary was adequate for supporting the family.
Over the years Daddy and Mom have served the Lord in several different churches in East Tennessee. Some with more membership than others, some in the city and others in the country, some of the “pastoriums” were larger with more rooms and baths than others, but God provided for our family's every need. It was obvious to my brother and me that Daddy with Mom and Mom with Daddy was God’s beautiful plan for their lives. Charles was Mom’s knight in shining armor, and still is.
These days Daddy is referred to as Dr. Earl and Mom as “Precious”. In addition to serving the Lord as a pastor and wife, they also served as a Southern Baptist Association’s director of missions and traveled the world on several mission trips. Due to the sacrifices Mom made early in their life together, Charles was able to provide her with a life she probably would otherwise never have known.
In return for her sacrifices Charles has been totally and completely devoted to meeting her every need. In his words, “I have been able to give her whatever she wanted, which was never very much. I have found a way to take care of her, whatever that required.” Even through her earlier days with Alzheimer’s, she followed her Charles with her little, fragile hand lovingly clutched by his strong and reassuring hand leading the way (literally). She would smile all the way but only to panic if he slipped out of sight. The love my parents had and have for each other has indeed been a blessing as they have been a blessing to so many during their ministry.
It has been only by God’s grace that I have been able to watch as Alzheimer’s has manifested itself through cruel, ugly attacks on their ability to love each other in the many ways they have done for close to 60 years.
Mom's soul is actually at peace in a world unknown to us. Yet it is those of us who love her so much that must endure her tears for her Charles and her pleas to go home. And as strange as it may seem, when the disease finally manifests itself as having completely overpowered their loved one and he/she is no longer being pulled between two worlds, the family can be at peace. Grieving may commence with a powerful force, but grief seems to be more normal than watching the terror of Alzheimer's in their loved ones eyes.
It is her Charles, her knight in shining armor, who so deeply agonizes his beloved’s slow and painful journey to death. He is completely powerless over her disease and can do nothing but watch as his Christine is slowly torn from him. Alzheimer’s has, however, presented him with completely new and different needs for her and he is making sure, as always, the needs are met.
God has been good to Charles and Christine, Daddy and Mom, Dr. Earl and Precious. Were it not for that pan of foot washing water such a great and grand love may have never been known.
